


New Year's Goodbye

by apeeey



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Heartbreak, Just relationshit, M/M, No Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 11:01:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17323781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apeeey/pseuds/apeeey
Summary: In the New Year's Eve, there was Kyungsoo, and there was Jongin. And there was something and nothing in between them.





	New Year's Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This for @xiuperiority who pushed me to writing this. Thank you for encouraging me into becoming a writer. 💕
> 
> This is also for all the Kaisooist out there who are still hurting. Let's all stick together, and suffer together.
> 
> This is my first AU so please don't judge me. Let me know your thoughts. You can find me on twitter @AR61288 💕
> 
>  
> 
> And to my Kyungsoo, love will find you soon.

  
_Sometimes we believe too much on words like "If it's meant to be, it will happen" or "If he's really yours, he'll come back to you."_

_But does he really have to go before we know it was really meant to be?_

_Do we really have to hurt first?_

_When will we be worthy enough to give them a reason to stay?_

 

 

  
Kyungsoo was wiping his tears with his jacket though it keeps falling. He stops walking, stares at the ground with his suitcase being dragged by his left hand.

It was New Year's Eve. He should be attending the party his friend prepared. He was actually there. But he left immediately when he heard Jongin announcing his new found _"love"_ to everyone.

 

_"I would like you all to meet my girlfriend, the love of my life ... "_

He's haven't even stepped inside his friend's house when he heard it. He was not able to respond. And he was not able to ask, _what have we been doing all this time, Jongin-ah?_

Right in front of his eyes, he sees the most precious person in his life, kissing someone he doesn't even know who. _When did they meet? Where? How?_

Kyungsoo was panicking. Heart beating fast. He turned on his back and started running. He didn't even notice that he was crying. He ran and ran until he heard the fireworks. _Ahh, it's already a New Year._

His heart breaking together with the beating of his heart. He cursed, his screams were masked by the noise coming from the fireworks. He stopped when breathing became difficult for him. He was being carried away by his emotions. You need to calm down Kyungsoo, he tells himself.

Once he calmed down, he ran again until he reached his apartment, their apartment.

He took his suitcase that was kept at the bottom of his closet, and gathered all the clothes he can bring. Once he's done, he opened the top drawer of his night stand, pulled out two plane tickets to New York he booked a long time ago. He was planning on confessing to Jongin or rather clarifying their relationship, and if ever it turns out good, then he'll ask the other to come with him on a vacation.

But he didn't have to do it anymore. Now he clearly understood, without him doing any effort. Love was never there. Or maybe it was there only for him. And Jongin never loved him and never considered him as his one and only. He was just being nice and all this time, he was just -- being himself.

With his anger building up, he kept one plane ticket in his bag, and ripped the other into pieces. He left it there on the floor, scattered. Just like how his heart is right now.

Tears started to form in his eyes again. He just let it all fall. All his memories with Jongin coming back to him makes him hurt even more.

 

_**"Hyung you know I love you the most right?"** _

_You're a fucking liar Jongin. And I was a fool for believing you._

_His stares, his kisses, his hand on my hands, on my cheeks, the intimacy that we shared was all a fucking lie._

 

His thoughts broke when he heard his phone ring. It was Jongin.

He was contemplating if he will answer but then he just wanted to hear his voice ... for the last time.

_"He-hello?"_

_"Hyung where are you? We're all waiting for you. Baekhyun-hyung said that you're already here but I can't find you. We didn't get to watch the fireworks together a-"_

_"Jongin. Let's stop this. I'm so tired already,"_

He sniffs in between and breathes deeply exhaling through his mouth,

_"... But always remember that I love you, okay?"_

With that Kyungsoo drops the call and turned off his phone.

He left a note on his night stand. It was for Jongin. Telling him he will never come back and don't try to look for him.

 

  
Now he's on the streets, double thinking if he should go back to their apartment and tell Jongin it was all a joke. But he can't. Not with his heart breaking. Not with his whole world crumbling down. Not when he wasn't aware of what's real and what's not. He needs time to think. And by that he needs to be alone.

He continue walking to the nearest stop, waiting for a taxi to arrive. He stood there, staring to nothing, thinking about all the lies he believed in all those year that he lived with Jongin.

 

_Waaah, Kyungsoo you're really stupid. You actually thought you had something. He never said that he wants something more. You just assumed that he loves you more than-_

 

  
The taxi arrived. He opened the door and occupied the backseat then he went straight to the airport. The flight was scheduled at 6 am. And it's only 2 am. He still have 4 hours to contact his friends. And maybe say goodbye to them. He didn't want to go back. All the places in Seoul, it was all too familiar to him and it keeps reminding him of Jongin.

Once he's in the airport's waiting area, he turned his phone on only to find a notification from Jongin saying _"You should rest if you're tired hyung. I love you too."_

 

He wanted to believe.

 

**_Hyung I love you too_ **

**_Hyung I love you_ **

**_Hyung I love_ **

**_I love her._ **

 

 

He's crying again, but he was able to hold in his sobs. He doesn't want anyone to know how miserable he was. He doesn't want anyone to notice how vulnerable he was at the moment. He used the sleeves of his jacket again to dry his eyes. Visions blurry, he started texting his friends saying that he'll be out for a vacation. He also wished them a happy new year. He didn't wait for them to respond and he turned his phone off. He never opened it again even by the time he arrived in New York.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

 

All sweaty and tired, Jongin came back to their apartment after he took his new girlfriend home. He was happy that all his friends warmly welcomed her. It was a pity that his Kyungsoo-hyung wasn't there when he introduced her.

 

He walked straight to his room. Not wanting to wake Kyungsoo up. He lied down his bed after changing into his pajamas, covering himself with the soft blanket that smells like Kyungsoo, thank you hyung for washing my blankets. He inhales the smell, and there he felt like he is home.

 

_"Kyungsoo-hyung,"_ he spoke with his softest voice,

_"Happy new year. I hope you find someone you will love, too."_

  
He woke up next morning, too late for breakfast but too early for lunch. He stayed in bed for five minutes more and then he went to the bathroom inside his room to take a warm bath. He was thinking what would be their breakfast today. _Is Kyungsoo-hyung already up? He seemed so tired yesterday._

  
He went out of his room once he's done taking a bath, only to be welcomed by a deafening silence. Kyungsoo wasn't in his usual station, their apartment kitchen seems empty.

 

_Maybe hyung is sick._

 

He knocked on Kyungsoo's bedroom door but earned no response. He decided to open the door since he was worrying that Kyungsoo might have collapsed or something.

Maybe he opened the door with so much force that all the scattered paper on the floor flew, one went in front of Jongin. He picked it up and read "New Y-"

 

_Why is this all torn? Why is Kyungsoo-hyung's closet empty? Where is his suitcase?_

 

  
The only ones that was left was the penguin stuffed toy Jongin gave Kyungsoo last Christmas. Jongin didn't know what to do, so he took his phone from his room which was already vibrating, his Baekhyun-hyung was calling him. He retreated back to Kyungsoo's room then he answered the call.

  
_"Hyung ..."_ he said with a worrying voice. He was pacing back and forth in Kyungsoo's room

 

_"Kyungsoo-hyung is not here. I thought he was here yesterday because he was not feeling well. But when I checked his room it was all messy, all his clothes are gone. Even his suitcase. Hyung he-"_

 

He suddenly stopped. He saw a note on Kyungsoo's night stand.

 

_"Jongin, I think Kyungsoo's never coming back_ ," Baekhyun said on the other line.

 

_"He sent us a message last night saying that he will be going on a vacation and he doesn't know when he'll be coming back. Did he inform you about this? It's kinda scary since he also sent 'I love you guys with all my heart. Thank you for everything' which he never tells us. Jongin. Hello? Are you still ther-"_

 

Jongin dropped his phone on tge floor. He immediately ran back to his room, wore a coat and took his wallet, then he's out on the street. He called out a taxi and went straight to the airport. He didn't know what was happening. He's suddenly feeling like absolute shit. He didn't mean it to be this way. He didn't want to give false hopes to anyone. He took the note out of his pocket and read it again. There was a faded part on the lower right side of the note. A teardrop. From his Kyungsoo-hyung. Seeing this, his heart broke.

 

 

 

_Jongin, Kyungsoo-hyung will never be back._   
_It wasn't your fault that I assumed._   
_I thought we actually have something_   
_But it was just me._   
_Don't try to contact me._   
_Don't come crying to me or else I'll think you actually mean it._   
_When you said you love me the most._   
_Because I meant it when I told you._   
_I love you, Jongin. Bye._   
_Maybe in our next life we'll meet again._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this shitty story. I will do better in the future. I hope so.


End file.
